My phone rang.. it was the week after the biopsy and chemoport insertion.. my heart was pounding like nobody’s business... memang teramat nervous nak angkat call tuh.. coz i know the number is from HKL... nak tak nak.. still kena angkat.. and so i did.. it was a doctor from the oncology ward who called.. she said to have Aisy be admitted to the oncology ward on Wednesday for a procedure called Bone Marrow Aspiration (BMA).. ni procedure yang diaorg amik sample dari sum-sum tulang tuh.. separuh pengsan bila imagine aisy kena buat benda tuh...wondering jugak nape nak kena buat BMA?
“err okay.. what about the results of the biopsy last week?” i asked.. the doctor said.. “oh, its neuroblastoma”. Full stop. I asked, “are u sure??” Then she said, “yeah, thats what the results said”............................................... have u ever felt like the time stopped just to make u feel more miserable in that moment itself, where u try to breathe..but cant even gasp for air?.. that was what i felt at that moment.. a point where i know life will never be the same again.. the point where someone says.. “excuse me maam, your son has cancer..” how would u feel when someone tells u that? And as far as you know, your family has no history of cancer.. then suddenly.. it happened to you...your son has cancer............. my son......has cancer...
Right now tears are falling from my eyes because i can still remember how i felt that day.. The thought of losing him... really broke me into pieces..
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