The Detection

So you see.. the detection was by chance.. we were lucky enough to have followed our instincts.. kalau nak tunggu symptoms, memang takde lah sebab aisy tak tunjuk ape2 symptoms.. yang demam tuh biaselah baby demam, nak membesar kan? .. so we were blessed with the early detection.. or so we thought..

Monday morning, 10th June 2013, dah tercangak depan Institut Pediatrik, HKL.. we were referred to the surgical ward.. for those yg dah biasa dgn IP ni..mesti dah tau ward mane kan.. so pergi la register n whatnot.. ingatkan jumpa doctor jer..rupanya kena admitted terus..hmm ok, xpe.. nasib baik barang2 semua dah siap dlm kete.. so we were given a room at the back sebab kat depan semua dah penuh.. it is an open ward with no air conditioning, only ceiling fans.. but they provided extra standing fans for each bed, so it was not so bad.. so as we walked through the ward, memang sgt sedih sebab seeing small babies with all the wires around their bodies.. balut sana balut sini.. maklumlah, surgical ward kan.. so semua yg ade kt situ mmg akan atau sudah pun melalui surgery.. so we thought..oh, aisy will be going through surgery lah kot anytime soon..to get rid of the tumour..

Ok, dah sampai the room where we were given, hmm.. bilik berdua, aircond ade, memang comfy.. Alhamdulillah..rezeki untuk beginners hehehe.. yelah, for me, i mmg tak biase staying at govt hospital.. this is actually my first time.. itu pun not for me, but for my son.. hmm okay.. my hubby expert dah bab2 hosp govt nie.. so dia explain la kat i and taught me how to prepare myself with the service and procedure n whatnot... ok ok.. i boleh handle.. so i pun tekan la button kat dinding tuh, konon2 nak panggil missy.. rupa2nya benda tuh tak berzaman tak berfungsi.. kena panggil missy secara manual yer.. tapi kitaorg bilik paling hujung skali.. jauh dari counter missy.. hmm.. takpelah, tunggu jelah bila2 missy datang..

So we waited for the surgeon to come and check on us, also to review the ct scan films that we brought with us from Pjaya hosp. Lama jugak la nak tunggu, i think afternoon kot baru surgeon dtg.. then he came.. i saw his tag.. he was the head of surgeon..hes a Datuk..hmm ok.. nervous skejap.. then he reviewed the films and asked us about the findings in Pjaya hosp.. so i told him lah what the docs told us.. i also asked if it is possible for the mass to be just his tahi keras je?? He said a simple “no”..then he said.. “They could have done a better job with the scan.. hmm.. in my experience, i’m guessing it is neuroblastoma (cancer saraf)and not Wilm’s tumour but we will do a biopsy to actually know what it is..”..”but before that, we will do an ultrasound just to be sure of the size and location.” In my heart, i was actually hoping for it to be Wilm’s tumour because after Pjaya said it could be either or, i did my searching on the net and i think Wilm’s tumour is less complicated. But when he said it looks like neuroblastoma.. my heart shrank a lil bit.. 

Next day.. we did an ultrasound... it was quite long because the sonographers macam tak percaya jer bila tengok ultrasound tumour dia.. coz the tumour is like all over the place.. from one end to the other.. guess what? I was still hoping that it’s just his stool yang keras yg dia tak berry hahahah.. denial..i know.. but any mothers would have still hoped for the same..so i tanya the sonographer.. u rasa boleh jadi tak benda ni tahi keras dia je? Hahahahah he chuckled and said.. most likely tak.. ok fine.. i kena terima la kan..

After ultrasound sume dah selesai.. petang tuh, a doctor came and told us that they will be doing a biopsy and chemoport insertion for aisy the next day.. biopsy tuh oklah.. but chemoport insertion??? What on earth is that.. i know it’s got something to do with chemo tapi ape benda tuh? Then she explained that it is a port where they will tanam under patient punya skin.. so that bila buat chemotherapy, cucuk line kat situ sebab chemo takleh guna peripheral line (line kat tangan or kaki).. ohhhh i see.. but why nak letak cepat sangat? Kita tak tau pun aisy perlukan chemo ke tidak.. abihtuh, kalau dah buat biopsy nanti, tetiba aisy takyah buat chemo.. nak buang balik ke benda tuh? Bukannya benda kecik sebab it needs surgery to do it kan.. so i still tak puas hati kenape nak kena letak chemoport tuh cepat sangat.. nape taknak tunggu results dulu? Then doctor said.. because Datuk thinks its neuroblastoma.. so most probably it needs chemo.. i macam.. hebat sangat ke Datuk ni sampai boleh diagnose tanpa biopsy? Hmm.. tapi doctor tuh mmg mcm convinced la dgn sangkaan Datuk..ok.. so hubby n i pun terpaksa terima la dgn hati yg open..petang skit, anaesthesiologist pun datang.. dia explain pasal allergy terhadap general anaesthetic (GA) n all that.. sign release form etc..

So Wednesday is here.. sudah tiba masa untuk biopsy and chemoport insertion procedure.. i risau more on the GA reaction sebab it’s the first time for Aisy kan.. macam2 boleh jadi kalau ade bad allergic towards GA tau.. so mmg teramat risau..then about 9am.. we were called to the dewan bedah.. nervous.. cuak.. debor.. gigil.. first time kottt... so bila dah sampai, Medical Officer (MO) tuh tanya sape yg nak masuk.. so hubby and i looked at each other and we decided i yang masuk.. so pakai all the necessary things.. and bawak my baby masuk ke Operation Theatre (OT).. i kissed him nonstop while walking ke OT.. Then MO and anaes suruh i letak aisy on the warm thingy atas meja operation tuh.. so i did.. then they inserted the GA through his line kat tangan, then mata aisy terus naik ke atas.. Ya Allah.. detik yang sangat menakutkan dan merisaukan aku.. pastuh MO suruh i kiss him and leave the OT.. so i kissed him and told him that ibu and ayah will be waiting for him outside.. as i left.. i couldn’t hold my tears.. memang hancur hati bila keluar dari tempat tuh.. i masih lagi boleh rasa kepiluan yang genggam hati i at that moment.. i ran straight to hubby and he hugged me, cuba tenangkan hati i.. i nangis dalam nak dekat sejam kot.. pastuh bila dah reda.. try to doa dlm diam.. sambil sembang2 kosong with hubby just to get our minds off the anxiousness.

It is now 11.30am.. hmm lamanya.. .......12.30pm........ susah ke nak letak chemoport tuh?.........1.30pm... aihh, biar betul.. lamanya... 2.00pm.... “Aisy Ezkandar!”... nurse panggil from the Dewan Bedah.. berlari lintang pukang ibu n ayah ni heheheh.. then i pakai balik benda2 tuh sume and went in.. alahai..sedihnya tengok my baby boy tergelepek kat atas katil kat tempat recovery tuh.. merengek2 sebab lapar.. yelah.. puasa since 3am.. skang dah 2pm.. baby.. mestilah nangis.. so i held him..takut2 sangat sebab takut terpegang tempat yg diaorg buat surgery tuh.. i held him.. calm him down.. kissed him puas2.. Alhamdulillah.. anak ibu okay.. after about 15mins holding him, i switched places with my hubby.. to let him have the chance to see his son.. i know he doesn’t show that he is worried tahap gaban but deep inside.. i tau dia risau.. so i waited outside.. then about another 15mins after that, Aisy was brought back to the ward.. doctor said bagi air je dulu.. bagi sikit.. to see if he muntah or not.. i just terus gave him milk about 3oz.. then tengok dia okay jer.. i gave him another 3oz.. syukur sangat takde ape allergy or side effects after the minor surgery..the day ended well with our family visiting Aisy.. he was happy..

Thursday.. Datuk came.. and told us we could go home!!.. yiippeee.. bestnyer.. he will inform us of the results next week.. and tengoklah macam mane nanti.. ok.. so ape lagi.. packing2 ..vrroooommmm...pulanggg...