Please pray for Aisy.. He is having his MRI scan done this coming 1st december......n im having the scanxiety.. The paralyzing fear moms feel in a time period before MRIs and other scans. Time period fluctuates and depends on length of time from last scans and many other factors.
I find scanxiety hits when I am the most vulnerable. This is normally during the middle of the night like right now as im writing.. when sleep has yet to be found or I am suddenly jolted from sleep.. This is when I experience the panic attacks that cause my heart to stutter and a clammy sweat that no fan will cool. Scanxiety also hits us when our child is suddenly sick or something is out of the norm which i worry almost everyday about Aisy eventho it has never been made for public to see... Some call it Mom's Intuition, but for me it is much worse than that.
We suffer scanxiety because we have been on the other side of those scans when we never anticipated we would hear the words, "Your child has cancer." We know the reality that may not be this time, but it has been and it could be again.
Scanxiety is stronger than the faith of even the most devoted. It isn't because we don't have enough faith, but that Satan knows how to use our weaknesses and vulnerabilities to his advantage. He knows how to fill those cracks with doubts and fears.
I would love to say that now the MRIs and CT Scans are over n today I am past the scanxiety attack. But nope! Can't say that. Until I hear from the doctors the official all clear, the fear will remain!
His results review will be on 15th december.. So i think i will journey thru half of this december with nail biting n sudden tears.. Not forgetting d panic attacks whilst driving.. But God is Great n God is Fair.. N hanya padaNya kita serahkan segalanya.. He knows best! But pls keep Aisy in ur prayers.. N hopefully the results would be that the tumour hasnt grown or by miracle, it has gotten smaller... Thank u n pls keep praying..
Luv,
Worried Mom
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