Chemo Port Removal Surgery

Alhamdulillah… after almost a year dah tak buat chemo.. akhirnya dapat jugak tarikh nak remove chemo port.. 22 August 2014.. so we r supposed to check in the day before because the surgery is at 9.00am.. i rasa takyah la cerita the whole process kot coz im sure u know the drill… ni gambar cik abg tgh usha doctor buatpe hahaha

but on 22nd August 2014… at 8.30am we were called by the OT to bring Aisy because they need him to be on standby because the patients before him dah almost done.. so we went.. i dunno why eventhough Aisy dah went through a lot of procedures..a lot of surgeries.. my heart still fills my throat when we are walking towards the operation theatre… i know it’s a simple surgery.. it’s a minor surgery.. but.. ntahlah…

So, we got dressed to go inside and waited at the waiting area.. Aisy was being Aisy la kan… slumber dia jer masuk ke OT Hall tuh.. and within seconds he was surrounded by most of the nurses, doctors n staff there.. i just looked at him from far… admiring him actually… if i were in a movie… the camera would make a slow motion effect.. first focusing on my face.. Smiling while i looked at him.. and then camera focuses on him and the people surrounding him who are laughing away looking at his little gestures and listening to his funny words.. at this moment.. my heart said “you’re really something kiddo”… i never get a lot of that kinda moment.. that’s why i can remember exactly how i felt at that time..

Anyway.. a while after that, doctor panggil suruh masuk OT… so i went to him and carried him.. he was smiling and kept on saying “bye..bye…bye..” to everyone.. and all of them were laughing and bid him goodbye.. he thought he was going jalan2.. but right when we reached the OT.. ive never seen a child’s face change like that… honestly.. ive never seen a child have that kind of expression.. he was smiling and laughing and happy and suddenly his face literally drops and i saw fear in him… i totally broke down inside… i know it sounds dramatic but i don’t lie.. this was how it was.. he looked at me like he couldn’t believe what he is seeing… he saw the operation bed.. and oh how my heart breaks.. i had to put him down so that they could gas him..and put him out… i told myself earlier that i wasn’t going to cry.. coz its just a simple surgery…! but when i saw his face and his last look before he was put under… my heart cried so hard and my tears trickled down profusely… my lil baby… my only baby…. how could i not..right?

well.. almost an hour passed and they called us… it was done.. he is now free… syukur Alhamdulillah… guess what.. being the strong boy that he is… eventhough he was still high from the anesthetic, he wanted to walk.. doesn’t want to go to sleep… haihhh.. anyway ..so that’s that.. i hope this would be a closing chapter of his cancer story.. :)