Decision Decision..

The day has come where we have to give our decision to the neurosurgeon. Unfortunately, I tak dapat pergi because of my sudden back pain yg membuatkan i takleh jalan, duduk sakit, berdiri pun sakit.. Haihh.. So hubby had to go by himself to see the neurosurgeon...

So the whole day, i waited for him to come home and tell me what the doctor said regarding our decision.. biaselah lelaki, they never tell a story in detail kan.. unlike most women where kita akan cite kat dia dari time kita sampai hospital, sampailah balik hehehehe.. betul tak? so this is how hubby sums it up lah..

Reach the hospital and got to see the doctor around 1.30pm..

Hubby: So doctor, after much deliberation and sembahyang istiqarah.. our decision is not to proceed with the surgery..

Surgeon: Oh i see.. but u are aware of the risks right?

Hubby: Yes, i’m aware..

Surgeon: Alright then, I respect your decision.. but Aisy has got to come here for regular check ups yeah.. perhaps every six weeks..just to see his progress..

Hubby: Sure, no problem. Thank you Doc.

Left the room at 1.45pm...

Logic tak conversation ni takes 15 minutes? hehehehe tak logic kan? im sure theres more to this.. tuh la tak suka bila miss important appointments mcm ni.. hahahaha

Anyway, on a serious note.. our decision is not to proceed with the surgery.. we are seeking and trying alternative treatment (no, not bomoh).. after praying and doa for guidance from God.. He has led us to this decision.. and Insyaallah we stand firm by it whatever the outcome is.. good or bad.. it is all His plans for us.. the only thing is.. whether we are ready to accept it or not..? I sure hope we are..

Well readers, please pray for my son’s well-being.. so that he can have a healthy and normal childhood..

Thank you..

 

Recovery Period

Day 1 – So far he looks okay... dia kena puasa..means no milk for him at all..he is on morphine for the pain.. but i noticed that his urine bag is empty.. sampai malam dia tak kencing? I was really worried.. because the drip is going in tapi tak kencing.. takut air masuk lungs or kidney... alahai kenapa anak ibu ni... my guts is telling me that the catheter is blocked tapi doctor and nurse taknak percaya.. sampailah malam... when aisy dah makin kembang...kaki dah kembang and shining.. testicles aisy mmg dah bengkak macam nak meletup jer i tengok..then came the anaesthesiologist and told the nurse to flush the catheter to see whether benda tuh blocked ke tidak.. then bila nurse flush mmg aisy takleh lalu pun.. see!!! Ishhh.. sakitnya hati masa tuh... so this nice doctor came and replaced aisy’s catheter.. bila bukak jer catheter lama tuh..terpancut2 air kencing dia.. Ya Allah... kesiannyer aisy...mesti sakit sebab kencing tak dapat keluar kan...then bila dah tukar catheter baru.. he starts peeing...nampak dah urine bag dia ade kencing.. lega hati.. but still not enough according to the nurse’s calculation.. hadoiii... kenape ni aisy... i wish i knew what is going on with u... Tuhan jelah tau betapa runsing nyer kepala otak i masa tuh.. doctor said it takes time.. ok fine.. i kena sabar jelah..

Day 2 – He looks even worse.. still puasa..now muka pun dah start bengkak... kenape nie doctor?? Why is he getting worse?? Don’t you think you should reduce the drip that goes in..? after a few examination.. a doctor came and reduced his drip a bit.. ape diaorg ni... nak tunggu parents bersuara baru nak buat ke cam mane??? I know its saturday..semua nak cuti kan?? Tuh yang doctor pun tak nampak batang hidung.. dah nak petang baru nampak... Masa ni mmg teramat2 stress... i think if one notch up, my veins kat kepala boleh pecah kot.... last2 i went to the nurse station and asked them about the situation.. then they gave me a nice talk.. which made me feel so much better... diaorg kata usually after major surgery.. mmg the first two recovering days is the worst.. patients usually gets better after 4-5 days... ohh ye ke.. hmm.. lega la skit dgr.. so now just doa that he recovers fast n well.. malam tuh bila tgh tido.. tetiba i tersedar.. i looked at aisy..Ya Allah!!! Dia dah cabut tube yg masuk ke perut dia tuh.. aduhai anak.. kenapelah cabut..nanti nurse kena masukkan balik tube baru..nanti luka lagi laluan tuh.. of course lah, bila nurse memang masukkan new tube, menjerit sakan kesakitan lah dia.. haihh.. Ya Allah.. Kau permudahkanlah..

Day 3 – Alhamdulillah.. his urine counts is getting better and the urine is getting clearer.. happy sangat... and they have reduced the morphine lagi.. dia still kena puasa.. kesian sgt..all i can do is wet his lips sikit supaya tak kering n basahkan pacifier bagi dia isap, at least ade la sikit air masuk mulut.....so aisy is awake but still not moving much.. he must be in pain.. coz i know my son.. dia mmg takleh duduk diam if he is himself...hehe.. i miss running after him..

Day 4 – Morphine is off! Dia ade merengek2 sikit..still sakit i guess.. and also lapar..and dia still rimas dgn tube kat hidung dia tuh..tube perut dia tuh.. but he looks better.. dia dah start pusing sana pusing sini.. Alhamdulillah.. but still puasa..kesian anak ibu..sampailah tgh hari.. Datuk came and see him.. Datuk took out the tube that goes in his stomach and told us dia dah boleh minum... yeayyyyyy... syukur nyer tak terkata... so ape lagi..tunggu lagi?? Bagi dia 3oz air.. for your info, he hates plain water.. tapi kali ni..air 3oz habisss hehehehe.. kesian sgt tgk dia.. hubby n i teramat happy..

Day 5 – most of the wires are off except for the wires kat neck dia.. i insisted for them to cabut the wire kat neck tuh coz i saw like ade nanah nak develop kat situ.. dah tgh hari baru diaorg bukak.. my god.. i thought it was just a simple line at the neck vein..rupa2nya diaorg masukkan line ke main vein kat neck tuh..and then jahit kan line tuh dekat skin aisy so that benda tuh tak boleh tercabut.. ade empat Bahagian dia jahit kat skin aisy.. OMG!! No wonder la aisy menjerit2 bila nak cabut... aduhaii.. lepas dah cabut.. i brought him to the onco ward to flush his chemo port.. sebab chemo port ni kena flush once a month.. so it has been a month since his last chemo, so kena la flush..masa on the way.. i saw an Indian family.. mula2 dengar suara perempuan nangis.. then i saw a man keluar dari ICU.. family dia semua pegang dia..then suddenly he burst out crying for his son... Ya Allah... anak dia meninggal.. masa tuh.. i peluk aisy kuat2 n tak tahan sgt, trus nangis.. sedih sbb teringat that few days ago, i almost lost aisy... Malam, aisy fever sikit but not too high.. So just tuam jelah.. Lama2 temp dia pun turun.. Haihh nasib baik..

Day 6 – 21st august 2013.. Datuk came, saw aisy.. aisy punya testicles still bengkak but Datuk said it takes time to recover.. plus dia cirit birit which Datuk said will take at least one month to recover from that..hadoiii.. kesian aisy.. bontot dah terkeluar kulit dah.. so Datuk said aisy boleh discharge dah! Yeayy.. seronoknya dpt balik rumah.. aisy pun dah boleh berdiri n merangkak.. so senang hati la nak balik.. so we bid farewell to all the parents and patients kat ward tuh..and drove home..

Syukur padaMu Ya Allah...

 

Oh yea.. I forgot..

I forgot to inform u guys.. On 12 August 2013 during the event in my entry "the moment of truth".. We were informed that Aisy actually has Neuroblastoma stage 4... Mmg terkejut bila doctor announce dia sebenarnya stage 4.. Gigil bila terfikir kalau kitaorg tak bawak dia jumpa paediatrician masa dia tujuh bulan hari tuh, cam mane? Haihh... It could have been too late..